The Art of "Dorking Out"

So, apparently English is my second language, Dorkian is my first.
A few months ago I was at Bellacino's. The girl at the counter asked me what kind of chips I wanted. Instead of saying "Baked Lays", I said "Baked Legs". I thought the girl would just start making fun of me and laugh with me. She just stood there and gave me a blank stare. I proceeded to make the situation worse by trying to say "Baked Lays" again. Again, it came out as "Baked Legs". I started to laugh at myself and became instantly autistic and continued to say, "Baked Legs? No, Baked Lays. Baked Lays. Legs? No Lays, not legs." The girl still stood there staring at me while I rambled away to myself like Chevy Chase at the lingerie counter in National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, then finally caught on and got my chips. She never did crack a smile. Maybe she has an autistic relative and felt sorry for me.
The same thing happened to me today. I was returning a call to a talent management business in New York. The poor man who had to talk to me asked me about my availability and when I answered him, it must have been in a language he understood, because the only words I could make out of my answer to him were "January" and "in". Maybe New Yorkers are good translators. I can just see him writing in his appointment book, "Do not waste your time with this one, she speaks like an idiot savant, and does not yet have a grasp on the English language. Hopefully, she can read scripts. Next time she calls, let it go to voice mail."

I think in trying not to take up too much of the person's time on the other line, I tend to rush myself, and my thoughts get jumbled up. Hopefully, I will do better in talking to my potential new manager than I did with her assistant. I need to learn to not get so excited about what could potentially be an important step in my career as a performer, and just take it one day at a time. I need to remember to concentrate and most importantly, breathe! I need to look at it the same way I do when I get ready to walk out on stage with my band, or when I am doing a solo gig or duet- focus on the task at hand, whether it be in talking with an agent or auditioning for a casting director. If I don't, it will be more impossible to find work. I know pilot season is approaching though, and I have been dying to get into some auditions for pilots! Will I? We shall see!