Thankful

Though it is the day after Thanksgiving, I would still like to run down the list of some of things I am thankful for, since I was a bad person and did not do it yesterday.

10. Barnes & Noble's Clean Restrooms
9. To Be A Part Of A Fantastic Band- That 80's Band www.that80sbandstl.com
8. Michael Moore For Being A Big, Dumb, Fat, Asshole (this way, I am not given this title by the Republicans)
7. Republicans
6. Scratch-And-Sniff Toothepaste Ads (What's next, scratch-and-sniff, disposable, under garment ads? It really does control odor!)
5. Richard O'Brien
4. Democrats and All Of The Other Commi-Liberals, Like Myself (However, I know how to make stickers)
3. To Have A Roof Over My Head and Food In My Belly and A Wonderful Family and Bladder Control and The Metric System
2. To Live In Such A Wonderful, Diverse Country (the United States)
1. To Be Alive!

I hope to add photos to my journal very soon. Maybe they will be scratch-and-sniff!

My Rapper Name:

G-Whiz

My Olive Groves In Italy

I think I was born in the wrong country. I love British humor, music from the UK, as well as candies and teas from the UK. I also love how Europeans are so damn practical. For example, my car is paid off. It has been paid off for almost a year. My car has 97,xxx + miles on it. I just had my 90k mile service and did not have to do anything major to it. I could buy a new car, but, why bother? My car runs and handles like a dream and gets incredible gas mileage. Besides, I promised him (my car) that I would run him into the ground before I would think of buying a new car. He has taken care of me, so I will take care of him.

If I won the lottery, I would move to Italy and make olive oil. Olive oil is amazing. It lowers the bad chloesteral, and raises the good. It is beneficial for the skin. I even use it sometimes to lube up my vocal chords before a gig, if it has been a three-nighter (four hour gig, three nights in a row). I would love to be able to wake up and have breakfast in my garden overlooking the green rolling hills of some part of Italy or another.

I don't dislike the States. I love my country and am extremely proud to be American. I just don't fit the throw-away, easily marketed to, Tweety Bird sweatshirt wearing, Wal-Mart shopping, American stereotype. Maybe this is why I tend to blend in wherever I go. When I am overseas and people try to guess where I'm from, they always say France or England. Good for me, right? I always say I am too practical for my own good. I think I'll go buy a lotto ticket.

I Love You, Peter Sellers!

I saw Stanley Kubrik's dark comedy, "Dr. Strangelove," over the weekend and thought it was fantastic! I was turned on to Peter Seller's movies after meeting actor Brent Spiner (Star Trek The Next Generation) some ten years ago. Seller's is most famous for his Inspector Clouseau role in "The Pink Panther" movies. Some of his other great films are "I Love You, Alice B. Toklas"," The Party", and "Murder By Death." I highly recommend any and all of Seller's films. I am also strangely turned on by Charlie Chaplin films. Of course, my boyfriend has caught on and loves this, so we watch a Charlie Chaplin film just about every weekend!

I am also a huge fan of the Cohen brothers. "Fargo" is also one of my favorite movies. I am on a "Big Lebowski" kick right now. I laughed so hard I could not breathe,when they mentioned the In and Out Burger in the film. "The Ladykillers" and "Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?" are also wonderful.

Another one of my favorite writer/directors is Sir Christopher Guest. I have loved all of his movies- "This Is Spinal Tap", "Waiting For Guffman", "Best In Show", and "A Mighty Wind." I think "Christmas With The Cranks" is his as well.

I didn't realize this would turn into a movie review, so sorry! I must start a new subject for my next topic, Paranoid. Later!

The Strangest Dream I Have Ever Had and My Manic Phases

I always have fantastic, alcohol-induced, dreams. It doesn't even take that much alcohol, just one glass of Pinot Noir before bedtime and that's all she wrote.

Anyhoo, I had a dream a few weeks ago that I was a special guest at Buckingham Palace, only Buckingham Palace was moved to Atlanta, Georgia. I know I was in Georgia, because I vividly remember the "Welcome To Georgia, The Peach State" sign, with a giant, faded peach on it. I found myself in my room at the Palace, naked, getting in the shower, when I realized I forgot my shampoo and conditioner. For some reason, I wandered out of my room and was walking through the Palace completely naked! I happened to stumble upon a funeral in the Palace, and I was so afraid that the people at the service would see my naked self, that I tried to hide behind a plant. Apparently, I was dating one of the royals, as he noticed my nakedness, ran out of the service, and gave me something to cover up with. I suppose the royal and I lived happily ever after.

My Manic Phases
My boyfriend is worried about me. He took me to see "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" a month ago, and I haven't been the same since. You see, I saw the movie for the first time ever...EVER! I never had the opportunity to go with my friends in high school, because I was always working on Friday and Saturday nights and I absolutely refused to rent it. I was always told you have to see it in the movie theatre, so I held out until a month ago. I loved it! Now, I'm dressing up as Magenta and going to see it every opportunity I get. I have also rented the DVD, watched the deleted scenes, and watched it with the audio commentary. I have always been a Tim Curry fan, though I didn't really know it. I remember seeing "The Worst Witch" as a kid, and thinking, "What a great voice and interesting looking guy!" His character in "Annie" gave me the creeps, too. My point is, now I am going through my "Tim Curry phase." I am buying Tim Curry movies and just recently purchased an out-of-print CD, "The Best of Tim Curry." Seeing the man perform really put the wind back in my sails, from a theatrical stand-point. He has me interested in theatre again. You see, high school drama left a bad taste in my mouth, though I had a fantastic drama teacher. However, Tim's performances inspired me to get more theatrical with my performances in That 80's Band. I went out and bought a great wig. I even have the guys wanting to buy wigs, wearing flashier clothes, and possibly even wearing make-up! So, thank you, Tim Curry!

Some of my other manic phases have included, but are not limited to:

My John Lennon phase, my Paul McCartney phase, my Star Trek phase, my Quantum Leap phase, which I'm still going through, my tea cup phase, my Friday the 13th The Series phase, my black and white phase, my classic rock phase, my country music phase, my Steve Martin phase, and my Simon Cowell phase, just to name a few.

So, don't worry, me love, it won't last too much longer, though my "Rocky Horror phase" has made me a better performer and person.

The Best Places To Poop

My boyfriend and I were hanging out down on Main Street in St. Charles the other day when we came up with the perfect title for my first album- "Crap For The Masses." That title is perfect for the follow-up album, "More Crap For The Masses." I guess we are just both bummed that the record industry prefers to make a quick buck, with one well-produced "hook" song, as opposed to a well-produced album and an artist with staying power. Anyway, the cover of the album would show me taking a shite, of course. The follow-up would show me taking a shite in a cow pasture.

This brings me to the whole point of this post;Where are the best places in the world to poop?

Here is the situation: You are in Manhattan in the East Village and have to go number two. Your hotel room is in Hackensack, New Jersey. What do you do? Head to Barnes and Noble in the East Village. Barnes and Noble in the East Village is by far the best place to poop away from home. Stop into any Barnes and Noble for that matter, and you will never be disappointed by their facilities. The library at Julliard wins second place, followed by any of the restrooms in the Chase Park Plaza, St. Louis, Missouri, the restrooms at Plaza Frontenac, also in St. Louis, Missouri. Also, any of the four and five-star hotels on and around Sunset Boulevard in Los Angeles, California have fine facilities.

On the flip side, some of the absolute worst places to do your business are the Bahrain airport, passenger pick-up, the Cairo airport, Cairo, Egypt, and the winner of the worst place to take a poop...The big Suk (the one that has a mosque in the center of it) in Kuwait City, Kuwait. I'm sure it's great if you are from Kuwait, but not if you're from any country whose toilets are not holes in the ground. The second worst is at a rest stop in the Sinai Peninsula. This place has not had running water since 1952. The folks are friendly, but the toilet tried to eat me.

If anyone happens to read this and would like to share their fabulous, or not so fantastic, pooping experiences, please share!

Happy Veterans Day!

First, I would like to express my gratitude towards all the men and women who have fought and who continue to fight to maintain our freedom here in the wonderful United States and the rest of the free world. Thank you!

Now, I have something to say to all you Karaoke Nazis- You know, you people who go to Karaoke bars night after night and take your stare at the TV monitor, sing into a cheap mic, and follow-the-bouncing-ball, expect everyone in the bar to stop what they are doing and listen to you, "singing" careers way too seriously- GET A LIFE- PLEASE!
There is nothing wrong with going out, having a few beers, and entertaining yourself and the group you came with('cause you sure as hell aren't entertaining anyone else) by singing "Feelings" way out of tune. Just do not yell at the few people, who were brave enough to come out to a bar on Karaoke Wednesday, for pretending to enjoy your lame performance of Janis Joplin's "Me, and Bobby McGee" and singing along with you. I say this because of what took place last night.
My girlfriends and I went to a local bar in St. Peters, because they wanted to sing karaoke. So, we went, sang a few songs, had a few drinks, and were having a great time, along with everyone else in the bar, until she walked in. She will remain nameless. So, she and her mother walked into the bar, in all of their redneck glory and proudly announced that she had won that evening's Harrah's Lucky Break karaoke contest. The karaoke host let her come up and sing the song that won her the contest that evening, "Me, and Bobby McGee." One of my girlfriends was a bit disappointed because she wanted to sing that song, and now she couldn't. My girlfriend sang along anyway and I sang with her. As we were enjoying ourselves and singing along into our beer bottle microphones, she leaned over in the middle of her song, gets in my girlfriend's face and says, "That's very rude." Now, my girlfriend didn't really hear what she said to her, but I did. She finished her song, then came over to my friend, got in her face, squeezed her wrist and said, "The reason I had to come over to you and say that is because you were singing in my ear and that is very rude! Don't ever do that again!"
Now, I am not the fighting type, but I almost told her that she needs to get a life. I wanted to remind her that this is karaoke, not Carnegie Hall, and that she needs not to treat her audience that way. Instead, I sat on my hands, bit my tongue, and told my friend, "It's okay, she is an amateur and doesn't know any better." My friend and I just made fun of her the rest of the evening and had a lot of fun doing it, too.
So, the moral of the story is, go out, sing your heart out, practice singing in front of an audience, and try new material. Karaoke is a great outlet for people who like to sing. I use to spend hours in my room, singing along to karaoke tapes, pretending to be a star. That is probably why I am able to sing professionally, because I spent all those years practicing. Just please, do not expect people in a hole-in-the-wall, strip mall bar to pay you any respect and listen attentively, unless you are Gretchen Wilson. People do the unthinkable in front of my band and me when we are playing, but we have no right to get mad and yell at them, unless they are falling all over our equipment. After all, we are playing in a bar and as long as the patrons seem to be having a good time and the bar is busy, then we are doing what we are being paid to do- entertain drunks.

Going Out For Cocktails

My first post- how exciting!

I am going out for margaritas with a few co-workers this evening to bid a fellow co-worker farwell. I wish it were Happy Hour right now, but I supose I will be okay for three hours. I have been so busy lately between work and the band, that I really have not had a chance to go out in a while. Thank goodness tomorrow is a banking holiday and I have the day off! Hopefully, I will get the chance to catch up on some recording. My BOSS BR-1180 is starting to collect dust I'm afraid, but my lyric notebooks are not, however, and that is a good thing. I suppose I should get back to work, before I get in trouble for being on the interet too long.