The New Laws For Song Writing
I cannot stress how long overdue the music world is for a Song Writer's Law Book. This book will also include the punishments for breaking these song writing laws. Here are some excerpts from this not yet existent book:
06-194A A song's lyrics must not include "yeah, yeah, yeah" followed by "no, no, no" or vice versa. The word "no" must never follow "yeah" and "yeah" must never follow "no." Which is it? Yes or no? Make up your mind! Otherwise, pay the fine of up to $1.6 billion and face the possibility of a public stoning for your stupid filler words. What are you, five?
02-1234 Rain must not appear in a song in any way, shape, or form. We are tired of hearing about how your "tears fall like rain" or how you were out "walking in the rain". I hope you slip in some rain and fall in a puddle and drown. The punishment for using this poor excuse for a poetic metaphor is first, to be continuously dunked in a tank of rain water, then to be tied to a flag pole during a hurricane, followed by a fine of up to $1.6 billion.
01-1621S No more super hero references! No, if you go crazy, I will not still call you "Superman." If you "wonder what it's like to be a super hero", don't tell the world about it, keep those creepy thoughts to yourself, man. For anyone who so boldly writes another song with a super hero reference, the Incredible Hulk himself will crush your skull and charge you a fine of up to $1.6 billion.
06-194A A song's lyrics must not include "yeah, yeah, yeah" followed by "no, no, no" or vice versa. The word "no" must never follow "yeah" and "yeah" must never follow "no." Which is it? Yes or no? Make up your mind! Otherwise, pay the fine of up to $1.6 billion and face the possibility of a public stoning for your stupid filler words. What are you, five?
02-1234 Rain must not appear in a song in any way, shape, or form. We are tired of hearing about how your "tears fall like rain" or how you were out "walking in the rain". I hope you slip in some rain and fall in a puddle and drown. The punishment for using this poor excuse for a poetic metaphor is first, to be continuously dunked in a tank of rain water, then to be tied to a flag pole during a hurricane, followed by a fine of up to $1.6 billion.
01-1621S No more super hero references! No, if you go crazy, I will not still call you "Superman." If you "wonder what it's like to be a super hero", don't tell the world about it, keep those creepy thoughts to yourself, man. For anyone who so boldly writes another song with a super hero reference, the Incredible Hulk himself will crush your skull and charge you a fine of up to $1.6 billion.
posted by Jeni @ 6:10 PM
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