AYDS Commercial

The AYDS commercials always bothered me. I could never understand why anyone would want to by something that is a deadly disease. I was seven or eight at the time, and the AIDS scare was very new. I remember tugging on my mom's pants legs going, "Mom, why are they selling AIDS?"

Thank you VH-1 for making this commercial one of last week's top twenty Internet commercials and for helping me to start the healing process. Now I can cross the AYDS commercials of the 1980s off of my list of "Reasons Why I Am the Way I Am."

Click on the link and pretend you are seven years old again and everyone around you is terrified that mosquitos can spread AIDS.

http://www.pistolwimp.com/media/41650/

Questions

I am cranky today, so everything is annoying to me.

I did not get to see Doug this weekend, because I wanted to stay home and recover, not to mention I have to get all of my receipts in order to file my tax return. Doug sounded like he was ticked off at me, as we hung up our phone call last night. I asked him several times if everything is okay, which is pointless, since he is a man, and he said everything is fine.

The question I have is this: Can two people ever be happy at the same time in a relationship?
It always seems that he is content when I am not and vice versa.

Why do the people I work with send me an e-mail, but turn around and call me seconds later to ask me the same question they asked in their e-mail? I do not even get time to attempt to respond, before the phone rings and my co-worker on the other end is like, "Did you get my e-mail?" I want to be like, "Dude, I have an idea that will save you some time. Why don't you just call me next time and ask me your question, instead of taking the time to type it out? Better yet, why don't you give me a friggin' chance to respond to your e-mail? Do you think that I might actually be busy responding to another person's e-mail, or answering someone else's question over the phone? No, I wait all day for you and only you to e-mail me. I yearn for your e-mails. I cannot get any of my work done, until I have heard from you. Yes, I do actually do work and my job is not just responding to your asinine e-mails. Imagine that!"

This leads into the next question which is a question that I know co-workers ask, because they want to seem polite. This question is the "Are you busy?" question.

Co-workers ask this question not to see if I am busy, rather they ask it because they want an instant answer to a question and cannot wait for me to get off the phone or respond to their e-mail. I will be on the phone, doing data entry, or running back and forth between the fax machine and my desk, and I will at least look busy. My co-workers will see me flying back and forth and answering the phone, yet they still come up to me and ask, "Are you busy?"

My response is, "Always." I would like to respond with, "Why do you ask me if I am busy? Of course I am busy, but it's not like it matters to you whether or not I am busy, because you have interrupted me anyway and I know you will not go away, even if I do say I am busy. You obviously do not have either the patience or the manners to call me first or send me an e-mail to see if I am available, rather you simply show up and do your cute little 'knock, knock' on my cubicle wall and put me on the spot by asking me if I am busy, so I will look like the rude bitch if I say, 'Yes. Yes I am busy, as a matter of fact. Now, go away and e-mail me your question.' It is just easier for the both of us if I say I am available. I could pretend to ignore you, but you will just stand behind me and I will have to listen to you breathing over my shoulder, until I acknowledge you."

Would it not be more polite to say, "I am sorry to interrupt you," instead of just about wetting your panties while you stand over my shoulder, waiting for me to get off the phone?

That is all.

Anti-Antibiotics

I have had this recurring upper respiratory infection crap since early December. I have had two rounds of antibiotics. I am fine a few days after I start the antibiotics, then the infection comes back a few days after I finish the antibiotics. The infection comes back with a vengeance, so I decided that what I have is one of those crazy sister viruses of SARS or influenza that like to make their presence known around this time of year, and antibiotics are not going to do anything for me.

I started getting sick again Monday night. I felt terrible on Tuesday;in addition the the upper respiratory virus, I apparently ate some bad mussels at the Chinese buffet, so I spent Tuesday night worshipping the three-toed yak. Apparently I have selective vomiting, because the mussels came up and everything else I ate or drank that day stayed down. I am even more afraid of buffets, now.

Rehearsal was cancelled Wednesday night, due to some unfortunate circumstances and I was off Thursday night, so I was able to go home and go to bed on Wednesday and Thursday. Let me just say that Zicam is fantastic! I have also been taking Wal-borne, which is generic Air-borne. My main concern is with losing my voice again, you see, as I have to gig Friday and Saturday night.

I am still very stuffed up today, but I think my voice will hold out. Okay, I pray my voice will hold out. There is no telling what will happen after I have to inhale second-hand smoke for four hours.

C'mon smoking ban!

xoxo

Je ne sais quois

Harry Shearer Look-alike

I am a huge Harry Shearer fan (This is Spinal Tap, The Simpsons, A Mighty Wind), so I was thrilled to see a Harry Shearer look-alike is one of the top twenty-four contestants on American Idol.

His name is Elliott Yamin and he actually sings really well, from what I have seen so far on the results show. He has such a cute grin and bright eyes, like Harry. It took me almost the whole two hours that the show was on last night to figure out who he reminds me of.

Karla with a "K"

Karla with a "K" is one of those people who, although you never met her before, you know her life story within two minutes of meeting her. You know her life story, because she paraphrases her life story for you, right after she says, "I'm Karla--Karla with a 'K'." Karla with a "K" even carries a purse with the initial K on it and sets it down on the table in front of you, so you will never forget.

Karla talks over loud music and expects you to respond back, although you cannot hear a word she is saying to you. Karla bumps the table and spills your wine everywhere, but this is okay, because this helps you develop you (record is skipping) develop your superb timing. You see Karla is just about to bump the table, when like well-rehearsed choreography, you do the swoop and grab and save your red wine before it goes all over the place, again.

Karla with a "K" drinks black Russians, which have Khalua in them which also begins with K. Karla seems to be at the bar by herself, until her friends come over to the table where Karla is sitting with you and your boyfriend and yells at her for her excessive cocaine habits.

Ah! Cocaine, with a "C" not a "K." It all makes sense to you now.

Okay, enough of that tense.

I have not written in a while, because I do not have time to blog on the weekends, Monday was a federal holiday, and I am sick again.

I did stand myself up on Friday. I went home, had a glass of wine and the cat and I passed out on the couch. I got a haircut on Saturday, then went over to Doug's. I opened the door to Doug's building and the smell of bleach just about knocked me over. Doug said that Al and Aryl (the couple downstairs) woke up to find their sink full of human waste. Doug jokingly said he felt bad but proud, because some of the poop was his. Gross! Anyway, just as Doug finished explaining the bleach smell, there was a knock at the back door. Doug's landlord, Robert, said that there was a crack in the plumbing stack that ran behind Al and Aryl's kitchen wall. The plumber was not going to be able to come out and fix the problem until Monday, so we were not to flush or use any water until then.

I'm sorry. What?!?

Doug and I hit Goez music before they closed and I checked my guitar out to make sure I was happy with the new neck. I found out that Taylor originally put a neck on my guitar that was still wet and that is why it bowed so bad. Doug and I went to the mall and then went to the Olympia House for some Greek food.

You know how it is hard to poop under pressure? I knew that I had to relieve myself at the Olympia house, or I would have to wait a while, so I went to the ladies' room and I could not go. I tried, but nothing. I decided it would be healthier to hold it instead of busting a blood vessel in my eye, so I thought, "When it is meant to be...."

Doug and I drove up and down Cherokee street looking for the Tin Ceiling, where "Somebody Else's Life" was playing. Let me tell you that I am so glad I did not go to that part of Cherokee street alone. Cherokee is getting better, with a lot of antique stores and bars close to the I-55 end of Cherokee and the Lemp Mansion, but Cherokee at Compton is still a work in progress. The Tin Ceiling is not well marked, so we drove past it several times. We walked in and it had this Greenwich Village coffee shop vibe. There were antique couches and chairs as well as antique type writers everywhere. (They had nice bathrooms, too!) There was boxed wine, coffee, and Pabst Blue Ribbon for a small donation. The place sure does need money, too. The theatre had homemade coffee can lights and absolutely no heat. The show was great, nonetheless, and it was good to see Jerry again.

I recommend seeing "Somebody Else's Life," if it comes to a town near you, whether you are gay or straight, Jewish or Christian, red or well, you get the point.

We went to the Ten Mile House to see Tongue-n-Groove and that is where we met Karla with a K. If you could compare Doug and me to the American Idol judges, Doug would be Simon Cowell and I would be Randy Jackson or Paula Abdul, always trying to find the good. Doug was more in music hell than I was. Yes, the band played like they had never met each other before. Yes, they probably paid the bar to play there. Yes, the sax player did not solo, rather he played the bass line. I said, "Now Doug, you remember your very first gig, don't you? I think it is painfully cute." "Yeah, but I was sixteen," Doug replied. I said, "You can tell the lead guitar player was influenced by Jimmi Hendrix. He even has the white Strat." "It is more like he watched a lot of Snoop Dogg over the years, the way he is jumping up and down with his eyes closed. I don't think that the rhythm guitar player bothered to tune his guitar all night, either," said Doug.

We got out just as the band started playing "Brick House"--just in time.

Happy Ending

Thank you Goez Instruments in Maplewood, MO!

I got word that my guitar will be ready on Monday and may not even need a set-up with her brand new neck. The even better part is that Taylor is picking up the entire bill, as they should. I will get to visit her at the shop tomorrow, to make sure I am happy with the cosmetics of the new neck.

She will play better than ever, when all is said and done!


The credit union where I work is finally going to have a summer softball league and it looks like I will be able to squeeze some time in to play. Talking about softball with Dave last night reminded me that it is not a bad idea to hit the batting cages for some batting practice. I think the last time I played ball, Reagan was in office.

I am so tired right now and I am seriously thinking about standing myself up for my date tonight. A big part of me wants to go home, polish off a bottle of shiraz, watch my shows, and pass out. I may be able to drag Doug to Jerry's show tomorrow night, anyway. A really cool guy named Corey came up to me after the gig last night and mentioned that his band, Tongue-n-Groove is playing tomorrow night. I really want to hear some live music on my night off. Doug and I were planning on going to 1860's Hardshell Cafe in Soulard, however, The Ten Mile House where Tongue-n-Groove is playing is just as close. Corey mentioned that a rep from Sony records is supposed to hear his band on Saturday. I wished him luck and I told him I would come out on Saturday. I certainly hope the Sony rep is legit and not just blowing smoke up his ass. I know far too many people who have had a vast amount of smoke blown up their asses by "talent managers" or "record execs" or "A&R men." I tend to be overly cautious, ask a lot of questions, take business cards, and do a lot of research. I am looking forward to hearing a good original funk band, nonetheless.

Anyhoo, my plan is to drag Doug to Jerry's show and then to see Tongue-n-Groove. I think I can get what I want, if I play my cards right, if you know what I mean.

Laters!

Jeni

Taking Myself Out on a Date

I am completely off this weekend, except for a private party at The City Museum this Sunday night. We are playing the St. Louis Science Writers Convention. The City Museum is always cool, anyway. (www.citymuseum.org)

Friday I hope to see my friend Jerry's one-man show called, "Somebody Else's Life." He has taken his show all over the country, from Greenwich Village to San Francisco and it has received wonderful reviews. I hope to get an informal interview with him after the show, so I can use the performance as a colloquium for school.

www.raggedblade.com/season.html

Then, my friends Dave and Greg are playing their acoustic Dave and Greg show at The Colossus down the street. The Colossus is one of my favorite Greek restaurants. They have awesome homemade baklava. I am due for a shot of fast-acting Ouzo, anyway. I know better now than to chase Ouzo with beer. I chased a shot of ouzo with a Corona when I was in Vegas and the Greeks and the Mexicans were duking it out in my stomach all night and all the next day.

Saturday I plan on cleaning house, getting a haircut, and going shopping. Then Doug and I are going out on a date, since we are both off Saturday night and real dates like that are rare, because of our schedules. Valentines Day blew, because I had class and he had to gig Tuesday night.

That is all I have to say about that.

Love,

Jeni

Cheesed Off by the Media and a Bit of My Random Bitching

There are many moments when I am embarrassed to be a communications major. I want to give some hard spankings to the folks who bring us the news be it local, world, political, or even entertainment.

Take the whole Vice President Dick Cheney hunting accident, for instance. It is what it is, which is nothing more than a hunting accident. The media, however, is going to make the Dick out to be a murderer, if his unfortunate victim's health takes a turn for the worse. Let us think about this rationally, folks. The Dick would never condone the murder of a fellow, white, good 'ole boy, hunter. Yes, he may get involuntary manslaughter, if the victim dies. Sure he will. The media will not shut up about the incident. Look, both men did not have the proper $7.00 hunting permit stamp that they should have had in the first place. Perhaps if either Dick or his victim had taken the time to get the upgrade, neither one of them would have been in the wrong place at the wrong time. Perhaps the quail made Dick shoot the guy. Yeah, yeah. That's it. I can see the headlines now, "Psychotic Quails in Texas Instruct Hunters to Murder One Another." It must be a slow news year so far.

I remember making a promise to my boyfriend that if Bush pulled this whole Iraq invasion off as easily as he said he could, that I would personally kiss President Bush's ass. I still stand by that promise.

I have yet to plant my lips anywhere near Mr. President's buttocks.

What did we really expect, as Hurricane Katrina goes? The local government of the state of Louisiana thought it would be less expensive to pray that the levy does not break in the event of a major hurricane, than to spend the money to do the necessary repairs. Wrong!
Moreover, the media reports that too many people did not do their jobs properly on all levels of government to prevent total chaos during and after Katrina. Is this a surprise to anyone out there? Is it not obvious that we Americans love to carry a title and cash in on it, but when it comes to carry out our job duties in times when we are most needed, we tend to quit or hide in a cave, or go quail hunting?

It is no wonder we in the United States look so stupid to the rest of the world--we are more concerned with the color of actors' poop, cannot speak or write with decent grammar, and we drive ourselves into bankruptcy, because we do not understand the simple economic principle of, "If you cannot pay for it, do not buy it."

We are going to lose our precious America, people, if we do not wake up and start making some informed decisions towards the elections of the people who are supposed to represent us to the world. It is time to stop throwing our hands up saying, "It's not my problem. Let someone else worry about it. I do not have time to think. American Idol is on."

Furthermore, let us stop blaming the majority of our problems on the government and take responsibility for our own lives. Let us be thankful that we do not have to worry about getting gunned down on the way to the voting polls or live in fear of a massacre while we sleep at night.

It could be a lot worse.

I love freedom of speech.

You Know it is Going to be an Interesting Gig When...

...There is a sign on the marquis that reads, "Fri. Dixie Express, Sat. That 80s Band, Breakfast Special $2.99, Rooms $49."

The Stratford Inn was actually pretty cool, though. I tend to judge a bar by whether or not they carry imported beer. I was able to purchase my Heiniken at $3.50 a bottle, so I was a happy gal. I don't think they carry Guinness, though. Oh well. There are worse things. The bar had some of the cleanest restrooms I have ever seen in a bar, as well. The bar's clientele and wait staff was alright, too. No one tried to jump on stage and no one tried to hand any of us anything or talk to us while we were in the middle of a song.

Two of the band's regulars, Jenn and Sharon, celebrated their birthdays with us on Saturday, as well. Poor Jenn called me on Sunday and said, "Don't believe anything that Steve or Dave or Rich tells you." Don't worry, Jenn. I know better. I am just sorry I could not stay for the hotel room after-party. It has been a very long time since I've attended a wild hotel room party. It's probably better that way, though. I hate waking up naked wondering who cleaned out the mini bar. The Stratford Inn does not seem like the type of place to have mini bars in the rooms, though.

I remember when Radiogram toured the Middle East. Clint, Mike, and I tried to re-stock our mini bar in our Bahrain hotel room after a long night of drinking. The only thing left in the fridge was a Coke, as a matter of fact. The hotel knew better, though. Mini bars can really eat up a band's per diem fast.

Oh yeah, Saturday there was a photographer at the bar. There was a high school Battle of the Bands going on in a banquet room. The photographer handed me a disk at the end of the night of all the pictures he took of us. Thank you, Lemmons Photography in Fenton, MO.

Check out some pics! http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/guitargirl63376/album?.dir=770b

KT Tunstall

I just want to spread the word about this talented musician from Scotland. I heard KT's song, "Black Horse and Cherry Tree," on Lindenwood University's station, 89.1 The Wood. I was instantly hooked!

KT's disc has been impossible to find here in the States, but I was able to order at Amazon.com. I ordered it at the end of December and I just got the disc in the mail last Friday. I love KT's disc titled, "Eye to the Telescope." Her music reminds me of that of Eddie Brickel. It is very acoustic guitar driven, has interesting rhythms, and smart lyrics. Every song is wonderful!
I am just sad she did not stop by St. Louis on her first US tour. Maybe I will just have to head to the UK, eh?

It is just refreshing to hear a new artist's music and not have to listen to the autotune kicking in to fix vocals, which are usually buried by too many effects and bass.

Check KT Tunstall out at www.kttunstall.com

Love,

Jeni

Go, Spamalot!

Congrats to Eric Idle and Monty Python's Spamalot for winning the Grammy for Best Musical Show album.

That is all.

Now, RUN AWAY!

Coretta Scott King

http://www.ksdk.com/news/watercooler/hot_topics_article.aspx?storyid=91775

I really feel like the burial of Coretta Scott King marks the end of an era, with regards to civil rights and peaceful demonstration. Gandhi, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., and Mother Theresa are long gone. Who can the world turn for guidance and inspiration? The world was given a constant reminder of all the racial hatred and cruelty in the world, when these activists were still alive, but these people all showed the world that problems can be solved in a non-violent manner.

http://www.ksdk.com/news/news_article.aspx?storyid=91485

Moreover, the link preceding this sentence is yet another reminder that laws can be changed, but our feelings of outrage and hatred regarding our fellow man still linger.

The police chase and beating happened on January 31. The sad thing is, I had no idea that it even happened until I went to class that night, and some of my "black" classmates were talking about it. It occurred to me that no one at my place of work mentioned it, because we are all "white." It is even more typical of our skin colors and the way our brains perceive events like this, that the "black" people are outraged and the "white" people think that the "black" people are over-reacting.

All I can do is bury my head in my hands and think, "Shame on us both!"

I can understand the police officers' point of view that every traffic stop is potentially deadly. The man should not have run and given the police a reason to chase him, if he had nothing to hide. It looks to me, though, that the police went way overboard, once they got the man to the ground. The beating looks like a typical scene from a movie about racism in the south, with the good 'ole boys beating the crap out of some poor black man.

It is almost as if we have our own little South Africa here, in the United States.

Then, there is the issue with mocking other people's prophets through the use of political cartoons. I have to say that for once it is good to see the Iranians burning some country's flag other than that of the United States. Come on, people. Can we please leave each other's prophets alone? When you insult Muhammad, you are also insulting Moses and Jesus! Try reading the Koran sometime. Muslims also recognize Christ as a prophet of God. Stick to making your awesome snow beer and poking fun at how the Americans are always "fahr-ting all de time." Now is not the time to go around pissing off Iran. Besides, it is the job of the United States to humiliate the Muslims, as well as the Jews and the Christians!

It is about respecting each other's differences, after all.

What the hell do I know? I'm just a Caucasian, Christian American, who has friends of many different skin colors, religions, sexual preferences and backgrounds.

Strange Dreams

Apparently, my hormones are interfering with my dreams again. It could be all of the National Geographic channel programs that have been on about UFOs too, that have been giving me strange dreams. Perhaps I should lay off of the wine before I go to bed?

I found out I was related to my boyfriend in my dream last night. I was also pregnant, to make matters worse. It was one of those speed pregnancies, though. As soon as I found out I was pregnant, my dentist and dental hygienist were trying to get me to deliver my child. They were telling me to push, and I was like, "There is nothing to push, damn it!" The really strange thing, though, was that I could feel the nova cane, when the hygienist gave me a shot.

Maggie May Update

I found out some great news and some not-so-great news about my guitar, Maggie May.

The not-so-great news is that she has a twisted neck. Her neck is bowed under on one end and over on the other. This is a manufacturing defect and is very rare. The cool thing about the repair shop that I took her to is that they are the ones who noticed it and called Taylor about it. The shop is an authorized Taylor repair shop, as well. Taylor does not like the idea of a defective guitar floating around out there. The neck is covered under warranty, so Taylor is going to ship out a new neck at no cost and the shop will put it on and Taylor will reimburse the shop. It is only going to take several weeks, which I expected and I am fine with that.

The great news is my playing does not suck as bad as I thought! My clumsy fingers were due to a twisted neck. This makes sense, because I really noticed a difference when I played the same songs that I play high on the neck of my Ibanez. I forgot how thin my Ibanez is compared to my Taylor. I feel like a giant when I play my Ibanez, Ophelia. Maggie just makes me look that much smaller when I play her.

I am a typical girl, when I go shopping for guitars; I have to see how they look on me, first, then see how they play!

Vainly yours,

Jeni

Eye on the Prize

I just about have all of my vacation plans wrapped up now. It is all a matter of getting through each work day without self-destructing. I just keep telling myself, "Queen concert in Chicago in March. Week in Los Angeles in April. Keep your eye on the prize, baby." Then, I try to remember to breathe. I booked my tickets for California today, so that makes it all more real for me. I have Chicago all taken care of.

I feel as if I lost a few days.
On Wednesday, I managed to lose my voice after the first two hours of playing a private party for the casino's geriatrics club. Actually, they were a really good audience, but it was irritating because we had stop every fifteen minutes for two hours so the casino could do a drawing. I did not feel well, so I was crabby, anyway. Then, the band only had to play two forty-five minute sets after the private party was over, so we ended up being finished by around eleven o'clock.

The band had to cancel our dates Thursday and Friday because of me. We never cancel dates, either. I could not talk on Thursday and I could barely talk on Friday, much less even think about singing. Saturday, however, we played our date at the Duck Room, and I have to say it went better than expected, all things considered. I had enough voice to sing back-up vocals and was able to sing a whole two songs. That, along Dave, Steve, and Rich singing all of their songs, along with some strategic ass-shaking on my part, helped to get us through a one-hour set and two forty-five minute sets. We even had a lot of paying guests, as we were worried about charging the seven-dollar cover, when we were not sure about delivering a seven-dollar show. We even brought out local personality (creepy fellow), Beatle Bob. I wonder what he will have to say in his Riverfront Times column. I suppose I really don't care.

None of my pictures really turned out all that great. Dave was a bit freaked out that I was taking pictures. He was like, "You're just taking pictures of all of this because you're going to quit soon and you want to remember all of this." I was like, "No, either I'm taking pictures for my blog or I subconsciously know I am going to die soon, and I want to remember everything." I am not going anywhere for a while, unless Rock Star 2 wants me. Then, if I win, I will fire whatever band I have for a back-up and hire everyone from That 80s Band. It is truly a win-win situation!

Anyway, I am starting to feel like my ole' full-of-piss-and-vinegar self, finally. Today, with the exception of Saturday night, is the first day I've been able to get out of bed.

I will try to post as many decent picture of the Duck Room when I get a chance.

Jeni