Monday, Monday

We must take advantage of the opportunities that are given to us; The opportunities we are not given, we must give to ourselves.

TGIM- Not!

I hate to be the bearer of bad news. It bums me out. I am bummed, but hey, I am just doing my job, right? These days are when I hate my job the most, especially when it's our word against theirs. It reminds me of the Cohen brothers' movie, "Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?" when this little boy sitting outside with a shot gun asks, "Are you from the bank? My daddy says to shoot people from the bank." At least, I think that line is from that movie. My brain is so fried, I just don't know anymore.

The weekend was fine. I gigged Friday night and drove home in several inches of snow. It was scary to say the least. Then, I had to get up and work the next day. After work, I went home and napped, then went to a CD release party at this venue called The Focal Point. The CD release party was for my boyfriends original band, Salt Of The Earth. Yes, it is folk or "roots rock." I knew most of the songs, because I go to rehearsals with my boyfriend from time to time. I enjoy their music. Plus, I have never been to a CD release party. I needed to educate myself.

I went to a great Greek restaurant on Sunday called colossus. I ate souvlaki, which is similar to a gyro, only I had chicken souvlaki. Then, I had the best Baklava ever.

I suppose I better get back to work, then school. I am too stressed to be silly today, not to mention, my colon is hating me from all of the meat I ate this weekend, White Castle in particular.

So Cranky

Happy "Annoy Jen Day"!

I am such a crab today. I don't know if watching American Idol last night put me in a bad mood or if it is just hormones. I was so embarassed for the guy who sang, "I Just Can't Wait To Be King." I was so happy for the girl from Ontario, California who was overweight, but the judges saw through that and sent her through to Hollywood. I hope she makes it to the top twelve. She was great, even though the show will rig it so that a white male wins this year. Simon was hot last night, too. He gave several folks the Simon Cowell "wink." Too cute! I have always said that if I ever marry, it will be to a pilot or an Englishman, preferably an English pilot. How cool would that be?

I suppose it is better to be a crab than to have crabs.

You know how certain smells remind you of certain times or events in your life? One of my co-workers always sprays Bath & Body Works cucumber melon every time she farts, so I cannot smell cucumber melon anything without it smelling like fart.

I just rubbed pearberry anti-bacterial gel on my hands. That smell reminds me of one particular spring when I worked at Express.

Every time I walk by a the dumpster of a certain pizza place in the Central West End, I am reminded of New York. Now, I am not saying that New York City smells like garbage, not at all. It smells more like a pizza place. It is a happy smell.

The smell of Jenate' and the men's cologne, Joop reminds me of Europe. Europeans just have this "odor." It is not a bad odor, either. I am taken back to the first time I ever stepped off of a plane in Frankfurt, Germany, whenever I smell Joop.

San Francisco has a "fresh air" smell to it. To me Los Angeles has a "neutral" smell. Yucalyptus reminds me of L.A. My friend had a ton of Yucalyptus trees outside her apartment complex. I remember one day I was like, "why does it always smell like Vicks Vapo Rub around here?" My sinuses were alway clear.

I Had A Thought...

I had a thought,

But soon forgot

Just what I was thinking.

My mind went blank,

'Twas puzzled and dank,

My eyes would not stop blinking.

Curious

I became as

To what eluded me.

So simple as

The day's events recalled

This thought could be.

But, no, but, no,

There is something more

Than a trite re-telling.

Then again,

That maybe all

On what I have been dwelling.

Librarians and the Full Moon

I did it! I faced one of my phobias last night!

My class met at the library last night to get a tour and to start pulling materials for our research papers due at the end of the cluster. This caused much anxiety for me, because I have a fear of librarians. I have not been to the library since 1998, before last night! You know, it really was not all that bad. In fact, I turned it into a little shopping trip. I spent around $3.00-$4.00 making copies of reference materials on the crappy copier. Then, I had to pay $3.00 for a replacement library card. The final blow to my wallet came when I had to pay $6.45 for an overdue fee from 1998. It sounds petty, I know, but I was not about to argue with a librarian! Now, I have the utmost respect for librarians, but they are a strange breed. It takes a special person to do that job. However, every librarian I have had to encounter seems to have a "Wednesday Adams" vibe. They definitely have a dark side to them, even more so than myself. I think I have to place them in the same category as Shriners and Masons; I am also afraid of Shriners and Masons. It is funny how everyone in the library remembers that one rule we all learned in kindergarten: "When in the library, we whisper." Of course, no one wants to get yelled at by a librarian!

The calendar and the ambiguous "they" say tonight is a full moon. No one has been crabby, though. It is not that I am complaining, but I am puzzled. Everyone was a jackass last week.

I'll Try It Again...

The first time I went to Greenland, somebody told me to try a danish, so I did- His name was Neils. Actually, he was part Danish, part Greenlandic, so he had dark hair. He was a dancer in Denmark before coming to Greenland to work, and he was mighty fine. I kissed him, because I wanted to see what it was like to kiss someone who is not from the United States. He kissed quite well.

The Blog gods were not good to me on Friday, so in the words of my other Danish friend, Pow (i probably butchered that spelling), "I'll try it again."

I have said before that I must be a cold-hearted bitch, but I just don't feel that sad about the loss of Johnny Carson. Don't get me wrong, I'm not overjoyed either, but I was more saddened by the death of Jerry Orbach. My mom, on the other hand, was crying her eyes out this morning. I see it as this, Johnny had a good life and helped to launch the careers of so many people who are successful in the entertainment industry today, and seventy-nine is young to me, but he is in a better place now. He did not suffer. I was more upset when George Harrison passed away.

Speaking of George Harrison, last night I dreamdt I was on a road trip with the late Linda McCartney and Paul, at least I think it was Paul. We were riding motorcycles and had to pull over, because Judy Tenuta was on the rampage and was going to get dust all over us. What?!? This was not alcohol induced, I swear. Judy Tenuta?!? The only thing I did last night before going to bed was watch a couple first-season episodes of Law and Order: Criminal Intent, take my vitamins (Yes, they were vitamins. I don't just call them my vitamins.), and go over some possible topics for my research paper.

This brings me to one of my favorite Steven Wrightisms: "To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research."

I learned that co-dependency is not what I thought it was, but, you know, whatever works for co-dependent people also works for me. I'm not picky.

I don't mean to brag, but I also learned what a megalomaniac is.

Gee, college is great!

One more thing, the UN can go ahead and piss off for saying that the United States can contribute more than $35 million to the Tsunami victims. If the UN would just use this simple formula I am about to conjure up, they will see that the United States has been more than generous. The formula:
10% of Country's Per Capita Income - Amount Country is in debt to its tax payers =
Amount Country can contribute
If you plug in the numbers, you can see that the United States has been more than generous. So, piss off, UN!

Now, run away.

I Wonder...

I wonder how many couples visit the Empire State building dressed as Fay Wray and King Kong?

Happy belated Birthday to Jim Carrey!

That reminds me of when I dated a guy who was a Jim Carrey look-a-like. He was fun to be around and hot, too. I told him he should get into modeling, and eventually, I think he did pursue it. His "Jim" was so convincing, that when he would go down to Mexico, the locals thought he was Jim, and they would hound him for autographs. I had a good time dating him. The only thing that gave me the willies was, his legs were smoother than mine! Yes, he shaved 'em. Goodness, he was hot, though!

I haven't had to be in that awkward, first-date situation in many moons, but I think if I ever am again, my first question will be, "can I see your legs?"

My next question will be, "how do you keep that just shaved look?"

Never again will a man have smoother legs than me! Never! (Unless he does drag shows for a living or dresses in drag, that's okay. It's disturbing that drag queens dress better and have smoother legs than most women, but it's okay)

I Got My Tickets

I am soooooo excited! I got my orchestra tickets to see Spamalot on Broadway! They are for the eighth row, but even that was almost impossible to come by, even though they are for May. That is a good sign, though. This show will be hot! I'm glad I can contribute to actors' salaries, not to mention the techs and all the rest. I am happy to go back to New York City for a few days, too. What a great city! I hope to spend more time in the West Village and go shopping in China town this time. I am going to be very broke for the next few months, but work is good. The band is completely booked just about every weekend until the end of the year, and my car is still kickin'. School is expensive, but it is worth it.

I love my Communications cluster. There are only six people in my class, and although the class is supposed to go until ten, we get out around 8:30pm-9:00pm, because there are so few of us. The only downfall is, because it is three classes in one, there is reading and writing in abundance! I don't mind, though. The weather is so cold here, that it is a good time to have to spend time in the library doing research. My eyeballs get tired from all of the reading and typing, too. I am discovering some phenomenal authors, though. I am re-discovering why I love Edgar Allan Poe so much and I can see why Ambrose Bierce is such a cynic. Now I don't feel so bad about being cynical.

Here's yet another reason why I love this country and life in general: I was driving to class last night. On my way to class, there is a mini strip-mall with a health club, pizza place, and bar and grill, all in a row! There's nothing better than having a few beers and a pizza, then going to work out, getting sick, and throwing it all up. That's my kind of workout!

By the way, for any Monty Python fans who happen to read this entry, the Spamalot website is:
www.montypythonsspamalot.com

Just A Random Thought

With the exception of school tonight, I have the day off.

I was just sitting on the couch, eating some vegetable soup to get warm, and I had a random thought: I hate questions that start with, "Can I ask you a personal question?" One, because it's like, if you have to ask, don't, and two, because if I answer "yes" and the question is asked, but it's not really a personal question, I feel let down. Like, there is all this drama and build-up, because I think someone has finally unlocked the mysteries of my brain and there will be some great realization of why I am the way I am with just one "personal question" being asked, then the "personal question" turns out to be something like, "Can I borrow a tampon?" That' s a "personal 'hygiene' question."



All in all, I had a pretty good weekend. I gigged Friday and Saturday nights. Saturday was a good night, despite the weather. It snowed like crazy, but there was a Ram's game on, so the bar my band and I played at was busy. I am an evil bitch, because I couldn't help but laugh every time the Rams dropped the football. Also, my best friend, Kim, who lives in Costa Mesa, was in town and I got to see her.

Sunday was low-key. I cashed in on some after Christmas sales at the mall. Why ever pay retail? Doug and I ordered some pizzas and watched Muppet Treasure Island. Great movie! I love the Muppets. Oh yeah, and Tim Curry is the perfect Long John Silver. I happened to catch Robbin Williams on the Golden Globes, too. I forgot what a fantastic actor he is. The last movie I saw him in was One Hour Photo, another great movie of his.

Speaking of Tim Curry, I am so looking forward to catching "Spamalot" on Broadway. The production is running in Chicago for a few weeks, but I have no desire to go to Chicago right now. It is way too cold! The show opens on Broadway in March. I hope to catch it in May. I am crazy enough to buy orchestra seats, too. Hey, if I am going to go all the way to New York to see my favorite actor in a show, it is going to be from the damn front row, or close to the damn front row. Besides, I haven't been to New York in seven years or so. The last time I went was awesome. My other best friend, Scott and I saw "Rent" and we got front row seats for that. It was amazing to say the least. Back to "Spamalot," it also stars Hank Azaria and David Hyde Pierce. How cool is that? My boyfriend and I are Monty Python freaks, so I thought I'd just combine birthdays and holidays for the next few months and take us to New York for a few days this Spring. Of course, my luck would have it that Tim's understudy would be performing the night that I go see the show. I probably just jinxed myself.

In My Dreams

I had a fun dream last night.

First of all, I know I had this dream, because I picked up my new keyboard Tuesday night. The first song I want to learn is "Somebody To Love" by Queen. So, for the past two nights I have been playing the song, I just need to work on the arrangement.

In my dream, I was shopping in India. I remember being disappointed in the selection of scarves and beaded purses and bargaining with the merchants. I must have been with my band, because then I found myself back at some music festival in India. I was in the food tent, and all of a sudden, the remaining members of Queen come up behind me and started talking to me, like I was one of them. Then, Freddie Mercury (who for some reason was sporting long, straight hair and his mustache) walked up to the other band members and gave me a wink and a smile. I remember thinking in my dream, "he's been deceased for almost fourteen years! What is he doing here?" Then I thought, "should I ask him how he's feeling?" Then I woke up.

This dream is strange not only because Freddie passed away in November of '91, but also because he was born in India. Hey, maybe I was communicating with his spirit in my dream. Maybe it was the Brandy Alexander I had last night, mixed with Advil. Who knows?

I remember talking to a friend of mine over drinks one night, and I told her that I thought her grandpa had tried to talk to me in a dream. His message to her was to hang in there and try not to get discouraged. So, I asked her if her grandpa was deceased. She said he was. I asked her if he looked like actor Dennis Franz, because that's what this guy looked like. She said, "no. That's my dad. He looked like Dennis Franz." Her dad passed away when she was sixteen, and I have never seen a picture of him.

For some reason, my sixth sense is stronger when I am on my period. I wonder if there is a scientific explanation for that?

I'm Somebody!

I feel like Steve Martin's character, Navin Johnson, in "The Jerk" when he gets a shipment of phone books, opens one up to find his name and address and shouts "I'm somebody!".

Yes, I, Jeni Harris, have finally stepped into the 21st century and registered a domain name and got a web-hosting plan. What's even better is, it is called, (dah, dah, dah, dah) www.jeniharris.com! Yes, my name, followed by .com was available. I am so excited! I feel important. I have no life. Of course, there is nothing on there yet, but I hope to soon have pictures, links to my band and other band web-sites, as well as samples of my original material. It will be my site for marketing myself and primarily my music in the entertainment industry.

I am thinking that this will also motivate me to get my arse and my original tunes out to some clubs. I am also looking forward to the tax write-off, since I am already considered self-employed ($$$). Hey, I need all the tax breaks I can get at $0.36 for every dollar I make playing in clubs. Also, because I design the site, I can put the most flattering pictures of myself out there.

This is long overdue. So many people ask me if I have my own website or CD. I always give them the band's website, but they are always like, "do you have a website"? I hate to sadly say "no." Now, I don't have to. There have been some nights when I could have made an extra $100.00, just by selling my CDs at $10.00 bucks a pop.

Once again, I credit Marissa out in California for the idea. Her site www.marissasims.com is coming along great. So, Marissa, if you're reading this, thanks again.

Anyhow, tonight I have to go home and revise my first assignment for school. Yes, classes don't begin until next Monday, and my first assignment is due. The assignment is to write a narrative essay about an event that changed my outlook on life. Now, I can whip an essay out of my rear in about 45 min or less, thanks to last semester's Developmental Writing II class. However, it was very hard to choose a subject. I have met many people who have shaped my outlook on life. I have also been to countries where a civil war is going on down the street from me and these experiences have made me love the United States even more than before. The topic I chose to write on, though, was the sudden death of one of my band-mate's father. That incident changed the way I look at life as well as the way I choose to live mine. Maybe I will publish the essay here, though, it's very personal and I wouldn't want to upset any family members of the deceased. How about this- If anyone is reading this, please literally stop and smell the roses every day, if you can, and appreciate every sunrise, because it means you've been given at least one more day.

Too Good For Resolutions In 2005?

I think I have finally recovered from the whole New Year's weekend. My band, That 80's Band (www.that80sbandstl.com) played at the Hyatt Union Station (St. Louis, MO) with a band called Joe Dirt and The Dirty Boys Band on New Year's Eve for 700+ people, then played at Harrah's Voodoo Lounge (also St. Louis) the next night. Let me tell you, these gigs take a lot out of me. Not only is there more mental preparation with this band, but there is more physical preparation. Though I have fun with the theatrical make-up (thank you, Ben Nye), wigs, clothes, and all, my skin isn't always as appreciative and my poor little feet hate the high heel sneakers I wear. I am loving the false eyelashes, though! By Sunday, my whole body ached from dancing around like an arse Friday and Saturday night. I took Monday and Tuesday off of work to help in the recovery process and I am feeling much better, now. I hope to have pictures to post very soon!

I guess if I have to make a resolution, it is to finally finish recording my CD, so I can get my singer-arse out in the clubs. I wrote three new songs the other night that I want to record. Usually songs do not come flying out of my head like that, so there must have been a lot of thoughts building up in my noggin, and someone opened the safety valve. Also, yesterday I bought a new keyboard. I bought a Yamaha S08. It has 88- hammered- action keys (the action is to die for), a sequencer, lots of great voices, and a floppy drive, I believe. The only problem is, the store I bought it from was sold out, so I am having it shipped from another store in Chicago. It will make a most-excellent song writing and recording tool.

Okay, so I thought of another resolution. I am going to watch less television. The only shows I plan on watching on a regular basis are "Law and Order: Criminal Intent" ('cause Vincent D'Onofrio is a fine actor and quite handsome) and "Monk." I love neurotic detectives, and these characters are indeed neuorotic. I have plenty of Cohen brothers, Peter Sellers, Charlie Chaplin, and Tim Curry movies to keep me from watching all of the other useless crap on cable.

There's another resolution- To get off of my arse in general! I will stick to doing my pilates at least three times a week.

Anyhoo, if anyone out there happens to read this, Thank You for reading my babble. I promise not to let you down in the babble department this coming year! Oh, and,
Happy New Year!