Research Paper Blues

I wish I could get my spirit guide to write my research paper for me, or at least take notes and I will write the paper! Is that cheating? Why would he help me, since I have so pre-occupied with my life that I have been ignoring him? I suppose spirit guides are used to getting the cold shoulder, though.

I have a hard time understanding how anyone can avoid believing in the afterlife and that there are spirits among us. Maybe I have been blessed to have had both good and bad experiences in my life so far that have reinforced my beliefs. It is not just about ghosts and spirit guides. I have talked to God all of my life and have always gotten answers back from Him, in whatever way, shape, or form.

Many argue that we are all just here by some freak accident of evolution. Others argue that one cannot believe in ghosts or psychic ability and believe in God at the same time. Apparently, these folks were sleeping in Sunday school, because the Bible is full of angels and even God Himself appearing to people. The Bible is also full of stories about average, scum of the earth shepherds having dreams and visions that come true.

There is too much in and of this world that we mere human beings will never understand or have the ability to grasp, so we might as well make the most of what we are given, be humane to each other, and enjoy life.

Only God and our souls know the truth.

Now, on to a great question that my friend Rich brought up last night:
Did Elvis have a big dick?
This is a very legitimate question. Rich brought up a great point that if Elvis had a small dick, then word surely would have gotten around. After all, Elvis did sleep with a lot of women and surely broke many women's hearts, but no scorned woman ever tried to spread the rumor that Elvis' dick was small. Maybe Elvis paid them not to talk about his small dick and these women are still getting checks from his estate.
I have been to Graceland and seen his clothes, but I really did not pay much attention to the crotch area. Next time I go to Graceland, I will have to get an answer for Rich's question. I will not come back from Graceland until I have proof of the King's penis size. Maybe he was not called the King, because he was the king of rock and roll, but his penis was so big that it could have conquered its own country and made itself king.

Now I am all hot thinking about Elvis' cock size.

You are thinking about it, too, aren't you.

Everybody say, "Thank you, Rich!"

Speaking of cocks, I should have done my argumentative research paper on whether uncircumcised dicks are better than circumcised dicks. The university, as well as my boyfriend, might frown upon that, though.